Title: Sweet Leaf; Gimme A New BeliefCharacters: Axel, Demyx, mentions of Naminé and Roxas.
Disclaimer: I don't own: any of the characters, Black Sabbath, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Up In Smoke, Easy Rider, or Super Troopers.
Warnings: Pot heads, quotes from stoner movies, mentions of gayness and implied AkuRoku, potty mouths.
A/N: Written for a Wishathon on dA for GuidingChaos, because she has awesome prompts that make me flail around like a lunatic. I'M SORRY THIS ISN'T INDY!AXEL D:
“Dude, like, d’you think it would taste good if I put spaghetti on this pizza?” Demyx asked, voice rough from bong hits and his forehead pressed against the glass of the oven, watching the cheese slowly melt.
“Uh, hey Demyx? D’you think schnozz-berries taste like schnozz-berries? No,” Axel said, voice mildly annoyed but mostly ignoring him. “Or, uh. Wait, they probably do, but spaghetti on pizza? No. No, that would taste like shit. Remember that one time you put chocolate sauce in your KD? And then you puked on your mom’s cat? No. Let’s not go back there.” Demyx just pressed his face closer to the oven, nose pressing back and mouth distorting on the glass.
“Dem, you’re gonna burn your face on that. Again.”
“Shut up and take a couple hits, you’re so serious right now.” Axel fiddled with the bong in his lap, sat on the floor in front of an ounce of grass and a half full grinder. He pulled the bowl, squinting at it and rolling his eyes.
“Dem, when was the last time you changed the water in this thing?” Axel asked, replacing the bowl and heating up the resin that nearly clogged the spout.
“Um, like, three days ago?”
“Get me one of your sister’s hair pins,” Axel muttered, working on cleaning out the bowl.
“A...hair pin, Axel? Are you coming out to me? Are you gonna get me to do your make up and put on a slinky pink dress and high heels and get me to waltz around the room with you?” Demyx tore himself away from watching the pizza, dancing with an invisible person, dipping them so low he almost lost his balance and fell headfirst into the kitchen table, laughing hysterically to himself.
“Fuck you, Dem, I need to get the resin out of this. And besides, pink totally clashes with my hair,” Axel said before heating up the resin again and wrapping his mouth around the top and inhaling hard, trying to soften it faster.
Demyx giggled, wandering through the apartment he shared with his sister and grabbing a bobby pin from the vanity in the bathroom. He threw it at Axel, who managed to catch it despite the terrible throw, and pulled the plastic ends off with his teeth. He got underneath the resin, started peeling it off, rolling it into a sticky ball between his thumb and forefinger.
“I have more for your resin ball!” Axel called, holding his left arm up with the black clump on his finger and attempting to pack the bowl one handed. Demyx, who was already back watching the pizza, sprung up again and almost fell over in his excitement, breathlessly laughing while he snagged the resin from Axel’s finger and bounced away. He crashed into his room, opening a massive tupperware container and dropping the ball in, promising himself he’d heat everything up and roll the little pieces into the tacky clump about the size of a baseball.
“Why are we using this shitty grinder, Dem? Where’d the coffee grinder go?” Axel asked, breaking up buds with his fingers before putting them back in the grinder and twisting it almost violently.
“Nam took it, she says she wants to use it for actual coffee,” Demyx answered, sitting in front of Axel and watching him repack the bowl with slightly finer weed.
“Fucking college students, minds are always on coffee,” Axel murmured, lighting the bowl and taking the first long hoot.
“Ax, you’re a college student. I’m a college student. Don’t be bad talking us. Also, the coffee grinder made it way too fine, I was always dumping weed out in the water because it would slide through.” Demyx was rambling, taking the bong after Axel’s three pulls and relighting the bowl. Axel laughed, raspy and low, smirk spreading out across his face.
“Speaking of college students, your sister ever gonna bring that little blond back here again?” Axel asked, eyes glittering with something predatory. Demyx slowly let the smoke out of his lungs before replying.
“Who, Rox-ass? You got a boy crush on him? You a bit of a faygele, Ax?” Demyx asked, teasing and passing the bong back. Axel started repacking the bowl, grinning sharply and fingers twitching when he burnt himself on the heated glass.
“You know how I feel about blonds,” he muttered, still grinning, getting up and grabbing the ice tray out of the freezer.
“Yeah, yeah, you sexual predator, we all know about it,” Demyx drawled, leaning back and watching Axel pop a few ice cubes out and drop them down the neck of the bong. “Needing a little filtering? Too strong for you, Ax? It is pretty fresh.”
“Shut up, Dem,” Axel shot before taking another hit, starting to relax.
“Y’know, it’s okay. It’s pretty hard stuff. Mostly Maui Waui, but it’s got some Labrador, too.” Demyx was giggling, looking at Axel expectantly.
“You mean we’re smokin’ dog shit, man?” Axel asked, eyebrow cocked, and they burst into laughter. Demyx was still laughing as Axel chuckled into the bong, sucking down the smoke and sighing it out a moment later.
“Hey, Dem, don’t forget the pizza. I’m gonna start getting hungry soon,” Axel said, lounging on the floor, legs out and back pressed against the sofa. Demyx scrambled to his feet, panic in his eyes, hitting his hip against the table hard and yelping, but not stopping on his mission to make sure the pizza wasn’t burnt.
“You’re stoned out of your mind, man,” Axel called, hearing Demyx laugh.
“I was watching that object, that satellite what we saw the other night, and it was flying across the sky, and then it just changed direction and whizzed right off, man!” Axel snorted into the bong and started coughing immediately, making Demyx cackle loudly in the kitchen. He wandered back into the room with a plate full of pizza as Axel’s fit of coughing turned into laughter.
“Hey, didn’t get me any?” He asked, a false look of offense on his face.
“I’m not your mom, man, get your own.”
“Aw, come on, dude.”
“Daddy is not coming on anything!” Demyx shrieked in his best, though still horrible, Indian accent. Axel snorted and started laughing again, while Demyx grinned and took a massive bite of pizza.
“Ow, ow, fuck, it burns!” He shouted, voice muffled from his mouth full, while Axel just laughed harder, bong cradled in his hands as he tried to stay upright.
After Demyx had his burnt mouth under control, the two of them alternated bites of pizza with bong hits, pouring out the water when the ice melted and refilling it and trying to hold the smoke in their lungs until, when they exhaled, no more than a tiny puff came out. They lounged on the floor, stretched out and lazy and high as helium-filled balloons when the strings were let go by sticky hands.
“Nam should be getting back soon,” Demyx mumbled around a bite of long cold pizza, laying on his back with his head pillowed on his arm.
“Mm, maybe she’ll bring the cute little blondie with her,” Axel murmured, stretching his legs out and setting the bong on a window ledge that he deemed safe.
“Yeah? You would, little perv,” Demyx mumbled, blood vessels making his eyes look so much brighter.
“Hey, Dem, you’re blond, too,” Axel uttered, turning towards him, arm pillowed on his arm, bent at the elbow. Axel’s eyes were hooded, the corners of his mouth quirked up, and Demyx couldn’t quite tell if he was being serious or not.
Before he could ask, Naminé bustled in, dropping her scarf and book bag and coat across the kitchen while asking how much weed they had left and opening the small window in the kitchen.
“I’ll tell Roxas to bring over Chinese, if you’ll share with us,” she said, plopping down on the couch and grabbing the bong from the ledge. Demyx nodded furiously, looked at Axel, who’s expression was excited and blissed out and a little bit predatory.
Demyx rolled his eyes and took the newly packed bong, taking another hit.